Nope. It’s not just your imagination.
People are saying please and thank you less and less. UCLA researchers suggest the word please is going the way of the corded phone and VHS tapes—quaint if you have shelf space.
In their now-published study of one thousand “request attempts,” adults used “please” just 7% of the time. Among children, it was used in 10% of requests. According to a 2023 report, just 52% of US adults consider politeness an essential quality for kids.
Here’s the kicker. “When ‘please’ is used, it’s typically to stave off resistance from the requestee. Turning down a polite request? Now, that would be rude.
Please and thank you have indeed fallen on hard times. But why should it be otherwise?
Using the word please implies, “I’m not entitled to this…but am respectfully asking for it.” Which undermines a core value of a generation that feels absolutely entitled—to just about everything.
That same generation—having been given so much by their parents who asked little of their children in return—feels no need to say thank you.
To say thank you implies a sense of obligation or indebtedness. They feel none. So why go through the verbal charade?
Every generation has “bent places,” so none of us has a license to point fingers. But young—or old—Christ followers are called to “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10).Which includes saying please—and thank you.
It’s not a Boomer thing.
It’s a Bible thing.
“Show perfect courtesy toward all people.” –Titus 3:2b
