“Where are we, guys?”
At church orchestra rehearsals, I ask that question with alarming frequency. Keeping track of all the measures you’re not supposed to play can be more difficult than actually playing. I often joke, "If a piece ain't in 4/4 or 3/4 time, I'm not responsible for counting."
Muddying the musical waters is the fact that songwriting has evolved in recent times. There's no shortage of codas (confusing notations that direct you to play some—but not all—of a section of music). Plus, you now often encounter a pre-chorus, second chorus, post-chorus, turn, alternate ending, and on it goes.
Playing the French horn, as I attempt to do, comes with its own set of dangers. You might easily overshoot a high note and end up with a cracked tone (known in our circles as a clam or clinker). And even in the unlikely event you hit the right note, it’s shockingly easy to play the thing out of tune.
But there we were on Sunday—the orchestra regulars—rehearsing before the service. In one arrangement we worked on, the French horn part was particularly exposed. Meaning everyone would hear the mess if I messed up. Which I did.
But only when the actual Sunday service began did I look at that music with fresh eyes. It wasn't handed to me with a caveat—"You better play this perfectly or you're out!" It was given to me with a measure of faith that I would give it my best (which I did)—and that this would be enough.
Our conductor had assigned me the part not because I was somehow worthy or had earned it. He simply wanted it played. In a sense, that music was my assignment, my contribution to the song.
Maybe—like a lot of us—you struggle with performance-based issues: “I gotta do this right or I’m not worthy.” How freeing to know that God isn’t demanding we play our part perfectly.
He expects us to give it our best, but at the same time (to borrow another analogy from David) God remembers that “we are but dust.” He’s not in the business of clobbering any of His followers with his conductor’s baton.
If you’re a perform-aholic who feels like you never perform well enough, God invites you to something better. Just wait for His downbeat and follow His tempo. Do your best, and then leave the rest with Him, knowing "He remembers our frame, that we are but dust."
