Author: Jon Gauger

As the wrangler pried open the 250 pound alligator's mouth, I was creeped out by the sight of so many teeth.  But that sensation paled compared to the visceral sound of its jaws snapping shut. Imagine slamming an empty gallon-sized can as hard as you can on a cement driveway.  That's sort of the sound we heard at the Everglades Holiday Park in South Florida.  Scientists tell us a human being can munch on a steak exerting between 150 and 200 pounds of pressure per square inch.  Animals such as hyenas, lions and tigers bite with a force of around…

The twin props of the air boat screamed as the wind whipped our hair violently.  I cannot say how fast our aluminum hull sliced through the Everglades channel.  I can only tell you it felt fast.  As if adrenaline hadn’t already kicked in, Captain “Swampy Jay” from the Everglades Holiday Park somehow shoved our boat sideways into a dense pile of thick vegetation.  My wife and I half expected a thunderous impact, as the clump of greenery had all the appearance of something no boat could expect to plow through without destruction.  Turns out, it wasn't harmful.  Among other things, we…

The odds say we should never have met him. But we did. My son and I were trying to leave the Chicago Auto Show and find the bus exit that would take us to the train station…and home. But which exit?  We weren’t sure.   So we asked a trio of Chicago Police officers. Ironically, one of them I’d met before.  He was the officer who ticketed me two years previously for a railroad crossing violation.   I recall him being very polite and most respectful.  Yet, the law required him to ticket me. After paying the fine and doing community service,…

One of the cool things about having children around is you're in touch with all the current “hot toys.”  You know, the must-have gifts at birthdays and Christmas. What’s old is apparently new–and very popular in toys these days.  I refer to “Little People,” a toy series introduced by Fisher Price in the 1960s.  These diminutive plastic figures come in a wide variety of characters. Farmers, animals, boys and girls.  You'll find “Little People” versions of these.  But you can also find licensed versions of movie figures, like popular Disney characters. They are all now under the Mattel name, since they…

Do you prefer your coffee black? Do you like the taste of bitter herbs? Then—caution!  You might be a psychopath! A recent study published in the journal, Appetite!, suggests that a fondness for bitter food and drink may well indicate a connection with what psychologists define as “malevolent personality traits.” You heard me correctly. Your enjoyment of a raw endive salad or—for that matter—most any bitter food or drink has been shown to correlate with psychotic behavior. Those who took part in the study were asked to identify how much they liked food ranging from bitter to salty to sweet.  …

In the market for a new home? I saw some interesting listings in the Wall Street Journal. Trump Park Avenue, a 32 story condo development by presidential candidate Donald Trump, is offering a penthouse unit for $35 million.  That's more than twice the price of a 4,200 square foot 27th floor apartment that features oak floors, handcrafted Italian brass doorknobs, and views of Park Avenue.   Perhaps you hanker for a quieter life and a warmer clime.  Then consider another $35 million dollar listing, this one from Christie's International, in Paradise Valley, Arizona.   The five bedroom “main house” offers…

Frankly, I felt ambushed. I was minding my own business attending church in Arizona with my wife and our friends, Charlie and Kathy, when of all things, we were led in singing an old Sunday School chorus, “Jesus Loves Even Me.” Words splashed on the screen, but few in the crowd needed them:             I am so glad that our Father in Heav’n             Tells of His love in the Book He has giv’n;             Wonderful things in the Bible I see,             This is the dearest, that Jesus loves me.” The chorus goes on to testify:             I am…

Demolition has gone high tech.  Gone are the days of the giant bowling ball swinging from a crane cable. Today's demolition teams are powered by hydraulic claws resembling a four-fingered fist that can clench, wrench and rip.  All of that controlled by a digital joystick.  In downtown Chicago, I watched as the demolition operator yanked an impossibly thin piece of metal away from a building wall (like a robot with refined motor skills) before plowing into brick, steel and wood.  I've also gawked as these grippers pinched a massive chunk of cement, squeezing it into powder.   As I stared…

The chair is hers. But she no longer occupies it. The cash register that was hers still takes money. But death has taken Eloise.   For decades, Eloise worked in Food Service at Moody Bible Institute.   She was one of a kind.   When you showed up with your $4.50 sandwich, she would announce the price to you as “Four hundred and fifty dollars.” When our son was very young, he helped himself to a few candies without paying.   Upon discovering his heist, we made him stand in line, apologize to Eloise and hand her the money owed.  Eloise looked after me. …

My “Happy New Year” frame of mind was jolted to a depressing reality when I read a  column in The Week—a favorite news magazine.  An article in the “Poll Watch” section reveals the following: 69% of Americans are convinced that America is heading in the wrong direction.  A whopping 72% now believe our country is not as great as it once was (Bloomberg Politics).  59% believe the economy is doing poorly (CNN/ORC) with 47% saying their family is scraping by, making only enough to pay the bills and other obligations.  19% say they cannot afford some basic expenses (NBC News). …