It’s one of the hardest things about parenting: knowing when to give permission, and when not to. But wise parents know that permission comes from more than words.
In the book of Genesis, we encounter Issac who has settled in the city of Gerar, just south of Gaza. Think dust and deserts—and very little scenery. Yet, Rebekah is a stunning exception to the drabness. It doesn’t take long for everyone around to notice that Isaac’s wife, Rebekah, is not just attractive but gorgeous. Her beauty is apparently an item of discussion between Abimelech, the region’s king, and Isaac.
Fearing he might be killed so that the king could get to his wife, Isaac lies to Abimelech, claiming Rebekah is his sister. But Abimelech eventually puts two and two together and realizes the two are actually married. So, he summons Issac, demanding an explanation.
Isaac then states his motive for deceiving: “Lest I die because of her.”
Then Abimelech (wisely) warns all the people: “Whoever touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.”
If the scene feels like Déjà vu, it’s because Isaac’s father, Abraham, felt that same fear and told the same lie about his wife, Sarah– who was also exceptionally beautiful. Like father, like son.
And there’s the lesson: our children are always watching us and our ways. Having heard about the lies his father Abraham told, Isaac somehow felt a twisted sense of permission to do the same.
What decent God-fearing parent or grandparent would ever give their child their approval to hide the truth? None. Zero. But we might as well shout a hearty endorsement to their lying—when we ourselves are lying.
Permission is granted—or not granted—more clearly in our conduct than our speech.
Numbers 32:23b “And be sure your sin will find you out.”
Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash